Sunday, June 17, 2018

Onnit Invitational 8 Broadcast Analysis (2 Brackets and Fitness Marketing Infomercials

Onnit put the whole thing on, so plugging some commercials for a bit during the intermission halfway through was par for the course. The kid coming out for his superfight plugging the viking ninja mace fitness product was pretty eye rolling though, but hey, it's their event, they paid for the thing and put it on, so fuck what I think.

What I could have done without was the hack commentary team. Some gems included calling Birchak's performance anything other than him running circles for 10 minutes then getting crushed within 30 seconds of touching Rosenthal for a period of time longer than the patty cake he did during regulation. Also, my favorite moment was the guy on the far left of the team on screen (following Rosenthal vs Birchak in the final) "wonder what would've happened if there was punches...." with that *&^%ing voice you hear watching the UFC at a bar when a guy swings for the fences and gets taken down then RNC'd quickly, and he has to chime in with how the grappler got lucky/jiujitsu isn't real fighting/be a man/if there was no rules it would be different/blah blah blah.

Are you *&^%ing serious? Following AJ Agazarm not knowing if Royal was pronounced like "Royale" whilst doing the commentary for that invitational recently, nor having much understanding if any of the rules, it wasn't like I had high expectations for whoever's friends were asked to do commentary for this event, but *&^!, this was a new low. In addition, following the slapdick, pro weed fest that was High Rollerz recently, I'm hard to shock but you've got on air broadcasters at Onnit drinking beer and getting intelligibly more intoxicated as the broadcast continued....aside from the usual banter and asides/anecdotes of little to no value comedic or otherwise to distract and have no bearing on what's actually transpiring on the mat. I would have, no exaggeration, rather they simply asked any two random jiu-jitsu practitioners at the event to have done commentary on the spot than that menage a trois of vapidly inane banter.

As for the matches, the 171 lb entrant into the 185 division did exceedingly well & Kyle Chambers managed to leg lock some other guys his size who obviously knew less leg lock firepower than he did. Frank Rosenthal liquidated the competition and Birchak was the only one who lasted any amount of time and did so only by samba dancing and occasionally touching Frank about the head, ankles, and hands like he was a hot stove. A few minutes in it was obvious drawing it out to overtime was the plan, but mercifully he was equally ineffective there and literally lost position -15 seconds then got strangled in about the same amount of time putting an end to his Summer Olympics jog around out of range-fest that was the regulation of his match with Rosenthal. If you don't want to engage your opponent at all, just don't sign up for sub only, man. It's okay. I won't judge you. I only judge you when you sign up for sub only then act like both of you should fight for takedowns and other bullshit. Perhaps it was seeing a lot of stalling and fleeing and boundary playing at the Kasai Pro 170 Qualifier early in the day in NYC and the Worlds recently as well that had me on the warpath about stalling, but maybe not....maybe I just don't like watching sub only match where one competitor it literally just running around and not actually willing to physically touch his opponent for more than one second at a time. Who are you fooling? Go run track or put on a Gi and flee takedowns and ride out advantages and call it winning....and juice up on all the steroids but thank Jesus and hard work when you win and pretend like the sport isn't riddled with PEDs. Oh wait, I'm talking about the IBJJF now.

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